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Friday, April 29, 2005

Insomnia


“It is time to sleep. It is already past eleven.”
“I do not have school tomorrow. Can I sleep later?”
“No! It is way past your bedtime.”
“Could I finish watching this program, it’s my favorite TV program?”
“No! Turn off the TV and get in the bed.”
“Can I read a book, then?”
“Too late for that."
"No time for bedtime stories, either, I guess?"
"Don’t you understand that it is time to sleep and that usually means an end to all activities? Turn off the lights right now.”
“Touchy, touchy. You don’t have to be that bossy. Does it ever occur to you that I might have insomnia?”
“Be quiet. Get in the bed right now and take off your glasses before you go to sleep.”
“Can I keep them on? I want to have clear dreams.”
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Friday, April 22, 2005

Male ego


“Boys in my class are so sure of themselves that they try to answer every question even though they don’t have a clue about the question.”
“You are right. It’s typical of boys and men in general.”
“Why do they do that?”
“Well, it has something to do with their pride and ego. A classic example is not asking for directions if you are lost.”
“That is weird.”
“I agree. That sure is dumb.”
“You know Dad! You do that too.”
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Thursday, April 21, 2005

Museum piece


"Guess what? I am going to see the Museum of the Fine Arts."
"Who are you going with?"
"It's a school trip."
"Sounds like fun!"
"Yeah sure... Who wants to see old pieces of junk?"
"Why? I find the exhibit of "mummies" fascinating."
"See, that's what makes us different."
"I am sure you'll find something that would interest you."
"Not a chance. Hopefully, I’ll be back soon."
"I won't count on that. They might want to keep you there."
"How mean!"
"That’s your dad."
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Sunday, April 17, 2005

Girlie-man


“Dad! I really like that singer, “Ciara”. She sings pretty well, but they say that she is transsexual? What does that mean?”
“Transexuals are people who desire to have their sexual anatomy altered because it is in conflict with their gender identity.”
“You use too many big words. Simple English please.”
“Well, it means a person who experiences a mismatch of the sex they were born as and the sex they identify as. A "woman trapped in a man's body" is a classic description. Sometimes they seek to have their sex changed opposite to their birth sex.”
“That is too complicated. I don't know if Ciara is a “He” or a “She?” If she is a man, then she is a pretty man. As Arnold Schwarzenegger says, she is a “girlie-man”.
“I guess, these are two different things. He used that term to blast the liberals for their pessimism on economic issues.”
“What... ? I think I’ll go do my homework.”
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Saturday, April 16, 2005

Body building


“We had a physical fitness test today in school and I did 23 push-ups. Only one girl was ahead of me. She did 28.”
“That sounds like a lot to me.”
“Not really. I also did 21 sit-ups. It is good for your body. Dad! I want to do it for the rest of my life.”
“Rest of your life?”
“Yeah. Come on, feel my toned biceps.”
“Hmmm. You are not thinking of becoming a female body builder. Are you?”
“Ewww. No way. I don’t think they look nice. A woman looks like a man and a man looks like a gorilla.”
“I agree. A bulge here and a bulge there. I think the only muscle they need to work on is their brain.”
“Brain does not have muscle.”
“That explains a lot. Isn’t it?”
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Friday, April 15, 2005

Dancing with the music


"What are you doing? Dad?"
"I am listening to music."
"What kind of music is that?"
"It is hard rock, from the 70’s."
"Who can listen to this kind of music? It is really old."
"Well, it has stood the test of time. It is actually cool but you young kids fail to appreciate that as valid music."
"You can listen to whatever you like but could you stop flailing your arms and shaking your head like that?"
"Why? I was just dancing with the music."
"You are embarrassing me. People are watching. What kind of dance is that anyway?"
"It is my own personal style. You basically, go with the flow. Moves are simple. I feel that there cannot be many possible dance moves or combinations because you have only two arms and legs."
"It sure is simple enough. For a minute, I actually thought you might be having a migraine attack or a seizure."
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Thursday, April 14, 2005

Recycling


"Dad! Where are you going?"
"I am going to the dump site a.k.a "Recycling Station" to throw trash."
"Can I come with you?"
"No. They do not recycle unruly kids."
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Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Useless stuff


"Dad! I am going out with my friends to uptown."
"O.K. Make sure you have the keys so that you can get back in the house, and while you are at it, pack your brains as well. You may need to use it once in a while, especially when you are out partying with your friends."
"Dad! I do have the keys but not the brain."
"Why, what happened to the brain?"
"I sold it on Ebay…"
"Not a bad idea. You were not using it much anyway. It was just sitting there collecting dust. Did you get many bidders?"
"No. Not really. Kids my age are not interested in things like that."
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Sunday, April 10, 2005

Music junkies


"IPOD’s are so cool."
"Really, how so?"
"Well, you listen to all the songs that you want, whenever and wherever you go. You have it on you all the times. You can share it with your friends."
"How about the radio? Don’t they play it on the FM all day long?"
"They do not always play the ones that you like to hear."
"Nevertheless, they serve the broader audience and play what most people like to hear?"
"Yeah, but you would still like to have the choices that you want."
"“Choices” seems like an over-hyped word here. Picking a song is not really a life-saving choice. It should not matter much, anyway."
"It does, for us. Believe me."
"I am not convinced about the utility of this gadget. I never needed one of these when I was growing up."
"Poor Dad! You had nothing when you were a kid. My heart goes for you."
"Now, don’t you make me cry, O.K. I was all right then and I grew up to be fine."
"If you say so!"

(Silence)

"Dad! Look at this one, this is so amazing, it stores 10,000 songs."
"Why would anybody want to store 10,000 songs? Are there that many songs out there to begin with? That sounds like an over kill to me."
"You have no idea that there are lot and lots of good songs out there."
"But are they really good and worth listening? I really do not feel that you need to listen to every bum street artist wearing pants down to their knees, aspiring to become the next American idol singing songs like "Shake Ya Ass". Let them prove themselves first."
"I would still like to buy it. Where is your credit card?"
"Hey, wait a second. Think about other costs as well. Storage requires downloading and downloading a song costs almost a dollar. Are you sure that you want to spend 10,000 dollars?"
"I won’t spend that much in a month. Don't worry, I’ll take it slow. I promise. Don’t you love me?"
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Wednesday, April 06, 2005

The selection process


"Dad! Help me out here. What should I wear tomorrow?"
"Wear anything that is comfortable."
"It is not as simple as you put it. There are choices to be made here and I could use some help."
"Hmmm. All right. Wear this dress."
"I don’ like the color. It’s too dull for me."
"This one is bright enough. Isn't it?"
"Good thinking, but I have already worn that dress twice."
"O.K. Try this one."
"Dad! You don’t know anything about what girls are wearing nowadays. This is way too old fashioned."
"What do mean? You bought it earlier this year, if my memory serves me right."
"See! It’s old. It is already out of fashion."
"Let’s try this. This one suits you."
"This does not match with my hair band."
"Try this one on. It definitely has nice colors."
"It is going to be in the 50’s tomorrow. This dress is way too warm!"
"How about this one?"
"I can’t wear this. This one is exactly my size."
"Why not?"
"I need to wear two sizes smaller."
"That is confusing. Why can’t you wear your own size?"
"That is not the way girls dress up. You don’t understand girls!"
"All right! Is this dress small enough for you?"
"It is nice, but It does not work for me."
"Why not?"
"Two of my class mates got that same dress as well. It is now too common. Everyone seems to be wearing it."
"Well, factories don’t usually shut down after making only one dress."
"I want to look unique. I can’t wear anything that is common. Could you suggest something else!"
"Ahhh. I am sure this shirt is going to look nice on you!"
"I can’t decide. Should I wear a shirt or a T-shirt?"
"What’s the difference?"
"If I wear a T-shirt then I have to wear a jacket on top of it."
"Why do you have to wear a jacket? You already said that it was going to be warm."
"You are so out of touch. Ever heard of term “layers” for dressing?"
"If you can’t decide on one piece of clothing, then don’t you think that this layering concept actually adds more complexity to this whole selection process?"
"Dad! You are not being very supportive. I am your only little daughter. Can't you come up with a better idea?"
"Here it is. I have finally found just the right thing for you. It’s a straight jacket. You can beat the design and functionality of this dress. Let me help you put that on."
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Monday, April 04, 2005

Play date


"Dad! I am bored."
"What can I do? I am open to suggestions."
"Can I have a play date with my friend? I did not have a play date in more than two weeks."
"What’s the big deal? I didn’t have a play date in years."
"Poor dad! You must be very lonely."
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Saturday, April 02, 2005

Vigilantism


"What are you doing? Something I should know about?"
"Nothing much! Why don’t you go to sleep?"
"Dad! You are eating. Again!"
"What’s wrong with that?"
"You already ate your dinner. Hellooo."
"I was not hungry at that time."
"That was certainly not the impression I got. You even ate my leftovers."
"Give your dad a break, will you."
"Let me go and wake up mom."
"Hold on, hold on. It is not really a big deal. Whose side are you on anyway?"
"Mom! Mom!"
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